Captain’s Log, [Stardate: 95877.98] (April 11, 2018)
I really hate having to drag things on even when I so clearly do anyway. So, as per usual I had to force myself up and type my, you guessed it, never-ending musings for this week. Plus, right now is such a perfect time to do so since everyone’s out of the house except for my sleeping baby brother, i’m in a bedroom which is cold and dark–just the way I like it–, and of course, i’m already in front of my laptop so why not just pull up WordPress instead of binging Buzzfeed’s Try Guys pregnancy series, right?
So i’m still here and not at home in Manila which to me is a great distress because i’ve told my workplace that i’d only be gone for two weeks but i’ve already unwillingly extended for a third week because my parents don’t exactly understand the situation that i’m in with this whole internship thing. You see, although I’m probably unpaid and only have to count my hours for me to accomplish my internship assignment for my school to be able to graduate, I also applied into this company at one of their busiest project periods and we’re only like, 14 people in the company so everyone either has two or more things to handle, and trust me, there is a LOT going on right now. So when I applied, apparently they were pretty relieved because they had an extra pair of hands to help with and yeah, I do my best with the stuff they ask me to do. The thing is, they give me stuff that one would usually give to a full-time employee. I do not have a problem with that, it’s just that if I don’t finish my stuff in time or something along those lines, I feel like I might be holding the whole team back from moving forward with the next steps. I don’t how important or unimportant I might be to the team, all I know is that I still have a role in it and I tend to be pretty serious when it comes to those things. I mean, they even include me in meetings which to me is pretty cool.
I haven’t been making the best decisions lately on how to approach my boss about this unexpected extension without making it sound like a load of excuses which are actually what are really happening. I think of it that way because I know that if I was a boss, it would be pretty sketchy to keep hearing all of this from my employee and considering the circumstances surrounding my specific situation so I thought i’d just keep working from here instead as I send on the finished outputs to his email. I’m just having a real hard time right now because of my parents and them not understanding things. Worse thing is, I didn’t even have the chance to buy the guys at my workplace something like food or key chains from my travels. Same thing goes for all my friends. Things happen pretty fast around here regardless of my slow thought process so opportunities to do anything just fly out the window, really. All i’m absolutely sure of, is that once I get home, i;m going to be bombarded by responsibility after responsibility which didn’t have to stack up so much if my parents only followed the schedule.
I’m helpless right now. I can’t get back home plus all our touring is finished and all we have to do now is wait for a plane back to Manila. Actually, if the school year ended earlier, we would be waiting for a plane to Cagayan de Oro and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything and actually enjoy my summer. But I guess, i’ve already had quite a lot of that already and i’ve reached /that/ stage of my life now. Sad but true. So last night I thought to myself how now i’m here with slow but functional internet and with absolutely nothing left to do. I feel so relaxed, i’ve never felt this relaxed in quite a long time especially in this stage of my life. Which felt odd, in a bad way. I never completely finish everything on my checklist. There’s something I needed to do, a lot of things. Those of which I couldn’t pinpoint probably because it was time for bed that time and I was already hella tired. Then it clicked. I had to catch up on the crucial and important quests I have in my personal quest for wholeness and success. It was the best thing to do right now so I had to take any and all chances I get. No spare time, no free time. I already had enough of that for one life, right? Wrong. I got lazy, lost track of time, and completely forgot that I always have something to do. I blame YouTube for that.
I dragged it along for a bit then struck at the perfect moment and voila. I also thought of a few new fiction ideas that I want to start writing but I still feel unsure if I can commit to it. Dang it, I really do hope and wish that we can finally go home tomorrow because I can’t take another day of being MIA anymore at my first taste of work which is, as it usually is, because of my parents. Ugh.
That’s it for now and I can’t think of a good signature so,
Peace out, home dog.
captain's log 